I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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