haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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