Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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