i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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