i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
