from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
