haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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