my sisters under your porch take her home
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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