put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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