apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
