I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
