Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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