I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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