Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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