For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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