please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
