having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
