My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
