And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
