i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
