She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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