I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
