She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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