I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
