So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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