am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize