Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
