This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
