That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
