o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
