literally had 100 drinks last night.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
