I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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