are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
