Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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