I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
