I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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