i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
the liver wants what the liver wants
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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