yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize