Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
