she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
