I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
