and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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