I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
