i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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