Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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