nut hugger
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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