Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
