we have officially lost it.
i barfeds in our rink
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize