If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
