I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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