I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
